Cross In My Window: His Instrument

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

His Instrument

Sitting here this morning in my comfy chair enjoying the sun and doing my prayers. I did not get my Magnificat this month. I hope whoever got it needed it more. When this happens, I feel God wants me to just read my Bible and talk to Him.

This made me reflect on a couple of weeks ago. I was asked to do a mini ACTS retreat in Spanish. My first reaction was to say no, but the person asking was someone I love dearly. So I said yes. Whenever I have to do or direct a retreat in Spanish I start reading the Bible in Spanish and do my prayers in Spanish. Doing a retreat in Spanish puts me out of my comfort zone. I read the Bible slower. In a way, I guess I reflect on it more. I believe it helps me grow spiritually.

Sometimes, when we are put in certain situations where we are out of our comfort zone, those are times God wants us to use them as growth times. For me, these times have truly been times where I grown spiritually.

Before the mini retreat, I was very nervous, but I should have had more faith and trust. I knew Jesus would be by my side and the Holy Spirit would guide the retreat and give me the words to use. But I let fear have more powers over me.

On the way to the retreat I listened to a CD and heard a beautiful song, "Mi Paz". When I heard that song, I felt peace. I was no longer nervous. I knew at that moment that I had to truly turn it over to our Lord, that He was with me. After all, He had guided my steps and my words for this mini retreat. I had prayed to the Holy Spirt to guide me as I prepared this retreat.

We must never loose sight that we are His instruments. We must live our lives to reflect His love for us and others. We must always be aware that the situations we find ourselves in are for our growth. We must never let them go by without seeing God's hand in them. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to grow. Help me always see You in everything that happens in my life.

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About Renee

I often refer to myself as a wallflower or turtle: A wallflower because I am an observer of the world around me, quietly taking it all in, mulling over what I see and experience, and sometimes writing about it in blogs, sermons, fictional stories, or poetry. A turtle because I am slow and often withdraw and hide. Whether running or making a decision, I tend to dawdle, but I will get there, and once I do, I commit. I often withdraw into the safety of my shell while I am internally working out the details of life. Take this blog, for example. The wallflower/turtle me would rather keep all this "junk" to myself. Each time I write, though, I have no choice. I must get the stuff inside me out, and when it comes out, I feel God urging me to share. Each time I argue, He reminds me of how certain moments in my life may have been different had I realized I was not alone. So, this blog is my faithful pursuit to let whomever may stumble upon it know that they are not alone. We all have "junk," parts of ourselves we wish we could ignore, but we belong in community. Our survival relies on how well we care for one another. Like playing the drums (an old, out-of-date hobby), writing is my way of putting myself out there, being on stage, and still enjoy a bit of anonymity.